Flop of Faith?!

WP_20141227_009“God’s got you.” I listened and let the truth of those three words wash over me as my mother-in-law spoke them. Just hours before one of my dearest friends encouraged me to not doubt in the dark what God has shown you to be true in the light. Simple truth, yet profound. And sometimes that is exactly what we need isn’t it? The gentle whisper of truth that our lives rest in the hands of One who is infinitely more powerful, capable, patient, gentle, loving than we can ever imagine.

Last July my husband came home with some rather disheartening news. The company he had worked for was no longer able to afford to pay him and thus he was let go.  However unsavory this was, it was not unexpected. In a single year, the business had gone from 60 employees to 6, and so we knew it was only a matter of time.  The marketing and design field had proven to be sparse in our little Colorado community over the years, and both of us were sensing it could possibly be time to move on.

I remember the conversation vividly over an ironic Starbucks cup of coffee as we talked with excitement about a dream of moving to Seattle.  With a thought in our heads and a tug on our hearts, we decided to step out in faith, put our house up for sale and leave behind our family and some of the most amazing friends we have ever known. Crazy? Perhaps, but with feeling the call in our hearts from the Lord and the affirmation of dear friends, we trudged on.

In the months that followed we had a garage sale, sold our home, moved our stuff out and lived like gypsies, moving from place to place to place. There were times when the reality that we had no home to go back to hit deeply, and when the job situation still hadn’t been revealed to us, I found myself starting to doubt. In my mind I panicked, and I was starting to believe that our leap of faith was just one major flop of faith into the land of stupidity. I started asking God some serious questions:

God, why haven’t you provided a job yet?

Are you there God?

Are we being stupid? Do you want us to stay here instead?

Through my questions, God has been revealing to me one major flaw in my philosophy: When life is easy, I am in sync with God’s will, and when there are trials I am probably screwing up. In the story of our move, everything down to the actual drive out here was riddled with frustration, and it was after 2 kids with stomach bugs, and 2 trips to the ER (one of those due to the fact that our youngest was struggling to breathe) that I had a major break down.  I was in the pit, and the truth “God’s got you,” rang more beautifully than it ever could have if everything would have gone the way I orchestrated it in my head. So, in light of all the doubts and lies that I have been filling my mind with in our present circumstances, I have compiled a list of truths:

It is possible that the moments of great pain in our lives could be the ones that reveal God in ways far greater than we could ever have imagined.

Just because we are met with trials in life does not mean we should opt out for an easier path. The trials are what sharpen our character

IF God let me control my life, I would end up worshiping myself instead of HIM.

As I sit here typing this from our new home of Washington, I reflect on God’s faithfulness through this journey, and instead of my story I see His story. Even though all the pieces have not yet been put in place, I lean in to truth, and trust the Maker of the puzzle.

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2 Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing your insights, Jenny. May you feel God’s arms supporting you. When God brings you to mind I will be praying for you. When we moved to Colorado all our best laid plans fell through. We moved in w/ Doyle ‘ s parents. I read through the Psalms and somehow rested on God’s promises. Coming to realization that God is in control lifted a weight from my shoulders. Keep seeking, keep wrestling, keep trusting!

  2. Thanks Jenny for this. “God’s got you” is such a powerful reminder for us in whatever direction our life is taking. We are praying for your family in this transition to Washington and eager to see the paths God brings, as well as for the health of your beautiful children.

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